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Funny Bashes

Read funny quotes and bashes for your daily quick-witted sayings


It takes a special kind of clumsy to get caught between the Moon and New York City.


#funny  


I don't like this new Axe Body Spray Extreme Nacho Pizza Scent nearly as much as I thought I would.


#crap  


The sound of 37 million people throwing up this morning was my alarm clock


#funny  


It's the seemingly not crazy people you should be worried about.


#statement  


And today, somewhere in Mexico; a Jesus is born...


#stupid  


When it comes down to the last piece of a pizza being split with a friend I can totally relate to Gollum.


#funny  


Sometimes the silence is so loud, it drowns out the music.


#statement  


Even if this is a game, it is not play.



I’ve discovered, the easiest way to change a flat tire is by not wearing a bra.



It's so stupid how Kanye West is tweeting about stuff he cares about instead of jokes for Favstar.


#statement  


Ok morning, we get it. You're horrible. Settle down.


#hate  


I’d love to blow you.............kisses from across the room.


#sex  


I never pretend to work hard on something when I'm not because I'd rather let people know I'm lazy than stupid.



You can't run away from your monsters or your demons. They dwell in that dark place inside you. Face them. Fight them. Set yourself free.


#statement  


Chuck Norris has already been to Mars. That's why there's no sign of life.



The light that ever shines never dies,
It turned it's back at you
Yet returns in your revolution
To defeat the darkness...


#statement  


I have the physical build to be a table cloth model.


#idocy  


Some fish are cool. Not the ones who climb into your peehole, though.


#funny  


"Jesus take the wheel," she said, but of course he didn't and they crashed and died.


#rough  


Humans share 55% of their DNA with bananas.




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